


Am I Crazy?

by SaberofLion



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/M, Hurt / Comfort, Im just getting back into writing please be kind, Kissing, NSFW, There are lots of mature themes here, This is a sad fic man sad sad sad, its sad man, like its been a few years college kills you man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 09:35:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9601949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaberofLion/pseuds/SaberofLion
Summary: 10 years has past and the loss of Noctis has ruined the mind of Sola, the lover he left behind. She feels like she constantly sees and hears him everywhere, but when he finally does come back will she be able to realize that he is truly there and not another figment of her fractured subconscious?





	

The outpost of Hammerhead had once been a place of solace for me. But now, in the darkness of an endless night I found myself in a nightmare that I could never wake up from. Wrapping my arms around myself I dug my fingernails deep into the fabric of my jacket. Turning my gaze to look at the bustling activity before me I searched for something to distract myself with. Familiar faces had arrived here earlier and I had taken careful measures to avoid them. I was but a supplier for the demon hunter bases now; there was no reason to associate myself with the guardians of the King. Finding nothing at the gate to occupy myself with I turned and began to walk back towards the old car garage. The inability to assist anyone had me wandering aimlessly across the base, on the far side of the garage I found myself gripping my collar panic threatening to close my throat. I was trying to avoid thinking of the one I lost, but knowing his guardians where but a stone’s throw away from me was throwing my carefully crafted persona into chaos. I couldn’t help but sink deeper and deeper into the memories I had worked at locking away these past ten years. Trying to control my breathing I found myself diving into those memories.

~~~~~  
_“Sola, you can ride with us a while you know, right?” His eyes, overshadowed by his long bangs light up as he gazed at me. His lips pulled back into a sly smile. He wanted me squished between Gladiolus and himself. He knew that I would lean into him if I was in that position._

_“It’s okay babe, I can catch a ca-...” I started I knew that he meant well but I felt like I was putting them out driving me to Lestallum. For someone supposedly dead Noctis was doing unusually lively. He reached out and caught my hand as I started to turn._

_“Sola, come on. It’s not far for us. Besides it be nice knowing you were safe.”_

~~~~~

That word resonated with me back to reality, there was a light drizzle coming from the darkness. I looked upward towards the moonless sky, was there clouds? I shut my eyes and let the rain bring me fully back, my heart was beating hard as I tried to quell the panic attack. That memory, it had been a good one. I had eventually agreed to letting them take me, falling asleep on his shoulder. Even good memories can bring tears one’s eyes. This was no different, as the tears spilled from my eyes a hazy man appeared in front of me calling my name. I sank to my knees; “Please no, please stay away.” My voice sounded broken, quiet unlike the persona I had built up around myself.

Through my blurred vision, I saw the figure approach me. I should have guessed that my pleading would have no effect on a hallucination. Reduced to a shaking mess in the light rain I cried and watched as he approached. As usual, the hallucination had the face of ghost of the man who’s love still captivated me. Untouched by time he smiled calmly and kneeled in front of me. Outstretching a hand his lips began to form words that I could not hear, but understood. 

_“Let’s walk out into the dark.”_  
“I will keep you safe.”  
“Sola, please do not cry. Come to me.” 

It was always a mix of things that Noctis would say, and wouldn’t. The prince would never condone me walking into the hands of the demons that wandered the endless night. Reaching up I rubbed my face, pushing the mixture of tears and rain away from my eyes. Taking in an unstable breath I looked at where the hallucination had been – but it was gone. I had turned down its invitation again. Laughing to cover up my insecurities I stood and sighed. Swallowing the lump I took a step out from the side of the garage to find a familiar face staring in my direction. 

“Sola?” I sighed again, that voice, that face. Despite a ten-year absence, I still knew all too well who it was. 

“Ah, hello Prompto, how have you been?” My attempt at reconstructing my usual persona was haphazard at best my voice was slightly wobbly from my break down moments before. The blonde-haired photographer seemed to notice this. 

“Are, you ok? How, um. Don’t take this the wrong way but what are you doing here in Hammerhead?” His demeanor was still as kind as I remembered, and it made me relax. Watching him scratch his head embarrassed in himself that he had to ask such a series of questions.

“I, I am alright. And no, it’s okay, I am supplier. Hammerhead was my final stop for a few hours.” I smiled and titled my head. “Are you surprised to see me?”  
Prompto nodded. “Yeah, it’s been… ten years yeah? Since…” He trailed off and coughed into his gloved hand. 

“Since Noctis, vanished. Yes.” I used the word vanished lightly. He and I both knew Noctis had been absorbed by the crystal. I sighed and stuffed my hands into my pockets, my pants where wet just like the rest of me but the rain seemed to be letting up. 

“How… have you been since that?” Prompto gushed, his face lighting up in an attempt to ease the mood. “I mean, you have to been up to some cool stuff, right? As a supplier?” 

I let out a jaded laugh. Personally, I had been broken, my mind shattered into a million pieces just like my heart. Losing Noctis had ruptured something inside of me that was still a gaping wound to this day. “I have been good,” I lied smoothly. “Being a supplier has kept me busy. What about you? I thought you and the others split up for a while, but I believe I saw them earlier outside of the old diner. Are you guys getting back together?” 

Prompto nodded again. “Yeah, we went our separate ways for a bit but uh, some stuff came up and it got us back together.” He was holding something back, Prompto had never been one for lies and it seemed that he still was bad at it. I avoided it though and smiled at him as sweetly as I could. It was not my business, right? “Do, do you want me to tell them you’re here?”

I gazed at the blonde-haired man with the shaggy goatee. His face had melted into something soft and worried, it reminded me of that day…

~~~~~~~  
 _  
“What do you mean he’s gone! I knew you were all going to do something stupid but why, why, why didn’t you go with him!!” My voice was broken and sobs where tearing their way through me. It was violent, my heart broke my head was throbbing. It felt like a piece of me had been cut out of me._

_“Sola we did not expect this outcome.” The stern voice of Ignis cut through my temper tantrum. While telling me facts he was also trying to soothe me._

_“Sola..” Prompto reached out to me, trying to envelope me in a hug._

_“No! You should have been with him!” I cried, struggling before giving into his embrace._  
  
~~~~~~~~

Blinking rapidly, I forced myself back to the situation at hand. “No. It would be best if I did my job and left.” I paused, feeling like what I had said was overly harsh and guessing by Prompto’s surprised expression it was. I backpedaled. “I mean wouldn't I just be a reminder?  
”  
“No.” Prompto’s voice was quick, causing my eyes to widen a bit. “They would be happy to see you.” Something in his voice caused me to pause. I had never gotten along overly well with Gladiolus and Ignis, why would they be happy to see me? I must have had a confused expression because Prompto trudged over to me and hooked his arm into mine. “Come on,” He smiled and I walked along with him without trouble. If he was this insistent I couldn't say no to him. “It be nice to be all back together you know?”

I bunched up my eyebrows. “But, we wouldn't be.” I murmured, Prompto’s jaw was set though as if all five of us would be together again. Soon we entered the diner turned storage, there sitting were three men talking in hushed tones. I froze, my feet planting into the ground. Beside me Prompto stood still as well, his arm tightening around mine in case I was going to bolt. “Oh Six help me, I’m seeing things again aren’t I?” My voice was but a breath, before me was a man who looked like an older version of Noctis. His dark hair sticking out every which way as if he had just gotten up from bed, his clothes where the same ones I had seen him leave in. The only difference was they looked slightly tighter in some places and looser in others. My broken heart clenched painfully and my breath picked up in its pacing. 

“Sola,” Prompto’s quiet voice causing me to look over at him. “What do you mean, ‘seeing things’.”

“That, that man.” I pointed to him, my voice shaking. As I did so, Prompto and I’s presence had been betrayed and the three who were sitting down where now gazing at us. The heat of the strange man’s eyes pierced me. I was about to try to run but I felt Prompto’s grip tighten further.

“Sola,” He said my name again, gentler this time. “That man is Noctis.”

“No, that’s…” I turned my head quickly to Prompto – he didn't lie, he would never lie to me. Flinging my head around I saw Ignis’s head tilted towards me and Gladio’s eyes burrowing into me.

“It’s Noctis.” The larger man said, as if frustrated with my disbelief. 

The man they claimed to be Noctis stood and took a step towards me walking as if any wrong move would scare me away. He was right to act this way, I was panicking. I was scared. This was just another hallucination, right? I must still be sitting out in the rain, or perhaps I had walked out into the night finally. 

“Sola…” The man’s familiar broken voice reached me as my eyes refocused to look at him. He was covered in dirt, and had scruff on his chin and kindness in his eyes. His movements where nagging at my mind, pulling up all sorts of memories of Noctis. My ragged breath picked up as I locked eyes with him. A gentle and weary smile spread across his face as he continued towards me.

I once again was frozen to my spot. Beside me Prompto had released me as this man they claimed to be Noctis reached out and took my face in one of his hands and my arm in another. “Sola, its me.” His thumb caressed over my cheekbone. Cleaning away the drying tears and raindrops that still adorned my face.

“Noct?” I breathed, as if the name would be robbed from my lips. 

“Yes.” He seemed relieved, his eyes focused on my face, his arms wrapping around my waist. The pressure and warmth of them reassured me that this was not another illusion but my mind refused to accept that he was really here.

“I must have finally died.” I choked out as I placed my hands on his chest.

His eyes grew panicked and he pulled me closer. “You are not dead! I am right here!” His frustration was palpable, and to an extent, understandable. This Noctis wrapped me in a hug which I responded to all too quickly, my hands digging into the ruined jacket. “I am really here, Sola.”

“It can’t be.” I murmured. “Ten years, I…” I couldn't explain the emotions bubbling up in my chest. It was all I could do not to break down crying. This could not be real, this was a dream, another nightmare that my mind had created for me. Burrowing my face in this man’s shoulder I breathed in. He even smelled like Noctis.

“I’m sorry Sola.” His voice was low, only so I could hear. Noctis’s voice was shaking, as if taking in everything was too much for him.  
I couldn’t take it anymore. It may be too much for him, but this was way too much for me. Ten years I had lived with a broken heart and mind. If this was real, and I prayed to the Six it was, I was a whirlwind of emotions.

So I did what my body commanded me to do; I cried.

**Author's Note:**

> It has been a few years since I have been able to actually write, I used to write all the time but after entering College I found myself at a loss. No game captured my attention! Not like they used too, well until FFXV. THESE POOR BOYS NEED LOVE.


End file.
